Melonade (or, Watermelon Slushy, or What To Do With a Bad Melon , or How to Salvage an Overripe Melon)
When life gives you bad melons, make good melonade.
I used to brag about my abilities to choose fruit from the store. I thought I knew the trick for everything (thump the melon, sniff the pineapple, only pick avocados that have the stem still in the end, etc.). I was unstoppable. I brought home the perfectly ripe fruit every time, and it gave me a proud feeling that I was providing for my family like a real gatherer. Because, I have to be honest with myself, the real reason I love going grocery shopping is that it taps into my innate gathering nature. It’s exciting to see the possibilities and what I might bring home and make with it, even if it’s slightly easier than our ancestors had it when gathering from the land (despite the fact that our ancestors didn’t have the toy aisle, the candy aisle, and the popsicle section to contend with while bringing their small children along while gathering). My lizard brain can’t tell the difference between gathering from the land or from the store, it only knows when the pantry is stocked.
Oh the shame.
It turned out that I was just on a lucky melon streak, and as streaks always do, it ended last summer and I chose several bad melons in a row. I hate food waste to the same degree that I love grocery shopping (not the prices, but the having of the groceries part) and watermelon, so this was disappointing on many levels. Melon-choosing had become a source of anxiety rather than pride. My confidence was shot. I needed help.
I confessed to the produce person about my bad melon streak, and he stepped right in, choosing me the perfect melon. I went back the following week and asked him again; another perfect melon. I watched him and listened to him explain how he did it, which gave me the false confidence to try to pick my own at a different market—it was organic and expensive but I felt confident I had a good one. I cut into it the next day only to discover mushy, mealy, overripe flesh. It wasn’t rotten yet, but it was close. I couldn’t bear to throw it all away, so I lopped it into chunks and froze it on a tray. Freezing is always my temporary solution to hold off eventual food waste. Surprise! It worked. Frozen, the texture no longer matters, and the extra sweetness of the overripe melon is a boon.
We blitzed it in the blender with lime Spindrift and a bit of maple syrup, but you could use really any liquid (lemonade would be nice), additional sweetener, and optional alcohol for a blended watermelon margarita. You can of course make it with a good melon. It’s great for when you have too much fruit or extra fruit salad and know you won’t be able to eat it all. (Remind me to tell you about when we cut and froze 20 watermelons to make watermelon margaritas for our wedding and then forgot to take the melon chunks out of the freezer until the last minute, leaving our poor bartenders—friends that we had hired—to deal with the ensuing chaos). This is not really a recipe, but more a way to avoid food waste and make something yummy out of something that otherwise would get chucked, so I hope you discover your own bliss. :). Not that you would ever pick a bad melon!!!!
When I can’t bear to throw it away, I freeze it. Then, occasionally a solution occurs.
About to be something good…..
Not instant, but gratification nonetheless.
WATERMELON SLUSHY
Yield: 4 servings
INGREDIENTS:
—3-4 cups frozen melon chunks (from an overripe melon, or any frozen melon)
—8-12 oz citrus sparkling water (Spindrift is great here), lemonade, or water and a squeeze of lemon or lime
—1 T maple syrup or sugar, to taste
DIRECTIONS:
Blend in a blender, food processor, or with an immersion blender until thick and slushy, adding more liquid as necessary to achieve the right consistency. Taste and adjust seasonings (add more lemon or sugar as necessary), and serve immediately. Marshmallow garnishes are optional. :).
Marshmallows make everything better.
